I hate to think what it must be like to have a loved one serving in Afghanistan. One of Grahams best friends is out there right now, serving in 3rd Batallion The Rifles. I knew the guy at school, and went to his daughters christening in August. So when the news has just announced that someone from his unit has been killed, without giving a name, I immediately fear the worst.

This is for a guy I barely know. If it was someone I was close to, well, I don’t know if I could bear it. I really, really hope he gets home to his family safe and sound.

I don’t agree with the war in Afghanistan, but I have nothing but respect for our troops out there. Hell, if things had only been a bit different and health problems hadn’t prevented me from joining up I could have been out there myself.

I don’t mean a bike, but rather a dog.  Harley belongs to someone else but I walk him three days a week when they are working.  He’s not a young dog, and didn’t have the best start in life.  Someone burned him with chemicals which left him with bald patches on his back, but now he is a happy, healthy dog with a loving home he deserves.

To say he is an old dog, he loves his games.

He likes a good tug of war too.  Graham does it better than me.

Isn’t he a cutie?  Anyway, as I’m not allowed pets I have menagerie of a different sort living on my tv.

Make far less mess than real pets, and don’t need feeding.  Don’t get much conversation out of them though.

You know I had forggotten about this place, until *ahem* recent events, and well, whats the point of letting a perfectly good blog go to waste?  I had moved over to LiveJournal, which is fine if the other people whose blogs you read are on LJ, but not so great if they are not.

So things have changed since I abandoned this journal.  My marriage came to an unfortunate end, but looking back through the old journal enteries to me it seems clear things were on the rocks a long time before it happened.  Things are about as ammicable as it can get with divorce, and those of you who have had dealings with Scott know from your own experience he is not a well chappie.

But you know what?  I’m happy.  Happier than I have been in, well,  a long time.  I have a wonderful partner, Graham, who I knew for 18 years before realising he was the right guy for me.  If he’d just told me he fancied me rotten at the age of 16!  We live on a goat farm a few miles from where we grew up, renting a cottage rather than working on it.  I’m a carer for my mum, and am hoping to start college soon.  Yeah, yeah, said that before, but things are really looking UP.

And friends!  I realised after thinking people only tollerated me because of Scott that my friends were just that, MY friends!  I have wonderful friends who accept me for who I am, and who are actually there for me.

I don’t play World of Warcraft as much as I used to, though I haven’t kicked the habbit completely.  But  I have other interests now.  Graham got me into collecting antiques.  I collect Carnival Glass, which I like because, well, its shiny, and you know how I am with shiny things.  That and the designs and colours are nice too.

Peacock and Urn by Northwood (Carnival Glass)

Of course Graham collects millitaria, which goes waaaay over my head, but I smile and nod whenever he talks about it and that seems to keep him happy.

Sadly, the hard copy of the  Doctor Who novel was lost in the break up, but maybe one day I will rewrite it.

Anyway, thats all for this entry.  Its good to be back!

]]> http://chaotickitty.wordpress.com/2009/11/04/ah-what-the-hell-livejournal-sucks/feed/ 0 chaotickitty Peacock & Urn Carnival Glass http://chaotickitty.wordpress.com/2008/03/19/and-its-back-down-i-go/ http://chaotickitty.wordpress.com/2008/03/19/and-its-back-down-i-go/#comments Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:24:15 +0000 chaotickitty http://chaotickitty.wordpress.com/?p=171 ]]>

Well, after the up note I finished last year on, its all gone to hell in a hand basket.  I haven’t been able to go to work in weeks, and I am a total fucking mess.  All the confidence I have gained has gone out of the window.  And why?  Two words.  “I forgot”

As most of you know, Scott lost his job in january.  Bad, but no disaster right?  Ha ha ha…  Try getting him to do anything but sit in front of his damn PC all da, its damn near impossible unless I have a break down and end up a gibbering mess on the floor.  He hasn’t applied for a job in weeks, because (wait for it) “He Forgot”.  He hasn’t cleaned in weeks because… thats right, he forgot!  He hasn’t had a shower in weeks because… Guess the answer, win a prize!!!  If I hear “I forgot” one more time I am going to kill him.  Or myself.  Not sure which yet.

I can’t do this anymore.  Its like having a child, except children DO more.  I got him to hand an application form into McDonalds yesterday, but I had to assure him he wouldn’t have to work with public if he worked there, he could work in the kitchen.  But I ask him to look at the job center website and he panics and says he doesn’t know how.  How can he not know how!!!  He can do everything else on the net, why not search for a job.  And when I do finally get him there, or buy the Visitor or something, he ‘forgets’ to apply.  I have to do everything for him.  And if I lose my temper or yell at him thats me being unreasonable.

I’ve tried so hard, I just want to be happy and have a happy life.  I don’t want to be rich, I don’t want to be famous, I just want to have enough to live on, and even thats too much to ask.

Things still arn’t going too well.  Scott’s not found a job yet, and the stress is getting to me again.  Work have changed our shifts to 10 hours 4 days a week, which some may love, but I truly hate.  I leave for work at 9 am, then get back around 9pm,  it feels like all I do do is eat, sleep and work.  Sure, three days off a week is nice, but I’d be much much happier on normal shifts with only 2 days off.

Back on the happy pills for now, which are making me feel better up to a point but they are never something I like to rely on.  I am trying to keep positive… Its early days with Scott and he IS trying.  Plus it seems he does have grounds for claiming Disability Discrimination against his old employer, he had a good chat to some experts at the Citizens Advice place.  We arn’t bothered about a payout, but its about time they got whats coming to them.

 Anyway, got to log on to work.  More later.

Well, so far, 2008 has failed to be a very happy year.  On friday 11th, Scott lost his job, due to taking a day off in december.  Needless to say things haven’t been great at home for a few weeks, though we are both feeling a lot better than we did.  My job is still bringing in about enough to cover the bills, but JSA is a measley £40 a week or so, until Scott turns 25 in March, at which point if he is still claiming it will rise to a whopping £60 a month.  Oh wow!

 Never mind, Scotts busy looking for something new, and he isnt fussy.  Wish him luck!  Until then, he is a housewife.  He wasn’t ammused when I offered to buy him a frilly apron.

I remember after spending Christmas at mum and dads last year that I swore this year I’d spend Christmas at home.  But when asked, seeing as this year I’d only be there 2 days at the most, I said we’d go anyway.  Truth be told I felt sorry for mum as my sister is in Botswana this year and has been since September, and my brother… Well, my brother is just my brother.  2 days right, 2 days should have been easy right?

Ha ha!  How wrong could a dizzy goth be!  OK, dad wasn’t rude to Scott this year, which was good.  Instead mum and dad bickered.  Constantly.  Every little thing, every word spoken was said with malice, and both were as bad as each other.  Its like they can barely talk civilly to each other any more.  Then when dad wasn’t there, mum bitched about him, saying how horrible he is, to the point I wanted to scream at her that she was just as bad!  By the end of the two days I was a wreck.

Stupid thing is, on the Solstice I more or less patched things up with Scott’s mum.  Her printer blew up and she uses it a lot, so we bought a brand spanking new Epsom that is all singing, all dancing.  I could have let Scott drop it off by himself, but I chose to go round, and it was fine.  Cups of tea abound, all was pleasant.  Maybe some folks could learn a few things.

Oh, and just to round off a perfect xmas, the early morning bus I had to catch to lancaster so I could get to work on time didn’t show.  So I was late.  Yayness!

It wasn’t all bad.  I got some nice stuff (80 issues of the original TMNT comic from the 1980’s from Scott, a very nice gothic coffin bag from mum, as well as socks which oddly enough I love getting, and an Emily Strange knitted bobble hat with cat ears from dad).  Also, my Xmas present to myself was the complete first season of Heroes (I saw a few episodes a few weeks back and was hooked).  Up to episode 12, and I have decided a Peter Petrelli/Isaac Mendez sandwich wouldn’t be unwelcome   Oh, Claire Bennet is hot too, but it gives off that jail bait vibe   Scott however prefers Jessica.  What a surprise.

I didn’t get to watch the Doctor Who special til boxing day as dad couldn’t POSSIBLY record Emmerdale despite being outvoted 3 to 1.  I liked it, but can we please stop having the Doctor copping off with his companions now?!  Its getting stupid (or at least make it Jack!).  Kylie wasn’t bad as Astrid, better than I expected.  Now here is where opinions differ.  I thought her demise was quite sad, and the scene where he said goodbye was touching.  But mum decided it was stupid and very vocally said so which ruined the moment a bit.  I am just glad they didn’t have him ressurect her, that would have been too contrived.  And please let it stay that way, no miracle ressurection from the remaining space dust later in the series.   And oh my, wasn’t there a high body count!  I nearly shed a tear for Bannakaffalatta and Foon.

Anyway, time to get back to WoW.

When I went to the hospital on tuesday the doctors decided I need to have the cast on my arm for another three weeks ‘just in case’.  Which means I am in plaster over christmas and new year.  Not a happy kitty.  Christmas I can deal with, even if I can’t cut up my food too well, but new year I am a little pissed off about as I was hoping to go out, and a bright white cast isn’t really going to go very well with any outfit I can wear.  Bugger.  Lol, don’t I sound like a fashion vicitm >< 

In training this week, which is basically going in one ear and out the other.  But trainer is nice, a guy called Ty who I am fairly sure is gay and loves the phrase ‘Whoops Apocalypse’, which is driving me mad as I have heard it somewhere else but cannot remember where for the life of me.

Christmas in gonna be hectic. I finish at 6pm on christmas eve, after which I have to catch the 7.05pm train to Bentham, spend christmas day and boxing day with mum and dad, then I am in work at 9am on the 27th which means catching a stupidly early bus from Bentham.  All those months where mum and dad said they wanted to spend xmas alone, and when I finally get a job and it becomes too late to book any time off, they want us over after all.  Just typical.

Oh, and the DVLA are still investigating the incident with my scooter.  The export license hasn’t been granted though, and they are looking into the case.

It had totally slipped my notice that I haven’t written about my recent misfortune in this blog.  Everyone else has had a good laugh about it, so I may as well throw it open to the rest of the Intarwebs to laugh at too.

After months of longing and waiting, I finally got a Nintendo Wii on Monday 3rd, along with Zelda:Twilight Princess, Resident Evil 4 and Resient Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles. All great games. I was happy I could have flown.

Fast forward to the morning of Tuesday 4th. Its not even 7 am and I’m getting ready to go to work, coming downstairs after and a kitten dashes under my foot. I am only two steps from the bottom, and when I try and avoid the kitten, I fall those last two steps. All seemed intact, apart from a lightly twisted left ankle, a sore right hand/wrist and one squashed and broken cat food bowl that had been lurking down there. But the hand got worse, and when I got on the bus to work my work mate Peter advised me to stop on the bus a few stops longer and go to the hospital to get it checked out. So I did, and it seems I have cracked the Trapezium bone, just below my right thumb. So here I am, plastered, but not in a good way.  And its amazing how hard simple things can be when you have to do them left handed.  like wiping your butt, do have any IDEA how hard that it?  And using the mouse on my PC, I can just about do it right handed, but I have to hold my arm in an odd postion and it makes my shoulder hurt, so if I am doing something thats going to take time I do it left handed.

But, luckily, as it was only a small bone I should be unplastered next tuesday.  I can’t wait, I can have a bath without hanging my arm over the side so it stays dry.  And wash my hair and brush it with ease!!

Meh, I shouldn’t complain, its not like I am totally helpless.  I am managing, but its amazing how much you take for granted when you have two fully working arms.

I have made mention in previous blog entries about the flagging call volume at work.  Well, today takes not only the cake, but the jelly and ice cream as well.  I started my shift at 12.30.  It is now my lunch hour, which started at 4.oo, and in the entire time I have recieved *drum roll* 2, yes 2, calls.  One was an order, the other (surprise surprise) was someone wanting to go through to billing.  Bth calls were transfers, I am not sure my team is getting any calls from outside. 

Maybe people think it sounds great to be sat doing nothing all day and getting paid to do so, but let me tell you, its not.  I am bored, bored with a captial B.  I have read a CSI magazine, the last story in The Day Watch and have started on The Ill-Made Mute, otherwise I would have gone nuts by now.  All the while I am sat by the other team who are getting call after call, order after order, its really taking the piss. Just because they are trained on a newer system and we arn’t.  We started a month or so before them, yet it feels like we have been shunted to one side, whenever we say anything we get nothing, just excuses and promises that never freaking come to anything.  Well, today a big boss has come to visit, and as I type two members of my team are upstairs with him, asking why the hell we are being treated like this.  Its bullshit, it really is.  Aparantly we will be recieving training on the new system on 17th December, so just over two weeks of this crap to go.  Ho bloody ho.  Hardly getting me into the christmas spirit I must say.